This past weekend saw New Jersey finally fling some mud in the eye of the East Coast Cross scene. It was worth the wait, for these past few days saw more than a few epic battles take place. Some were won, some were not. I've taken the liberty create a few exhibits here to illustrate the sheer competitive nature of the goings-on. More than a few of said battles took place on the Cyclocross Courses designed by Stu Thorne for the USGP
, however, some of them did not.Above:
1) 1-Ryan Trebon Versus
1a-Heckler and 2-Mud
2) a-David Wilcox's Interbike Stache Versus
b-Pete Bradshaw's Jersey Shore Pickup LineBelow:
The definitive race between 1- Small Child and 2-Adam "Dolla Billz" Myerson.
Who would be the first one to snag the cash sprouting from the mud? If nothing else, Adam just run him down with your bike and grab the dollar. That's what I say.
1 vs. 2. Lets start from the top, and to start from the top we've got to go way up to the top of Mount Trebon. It was pretty much The World vs. Treefarm this weekend. I think I actually felt sorry for him at a few seconds during the race. Just for a few seconds though. Not only did I see him wrestle with most of the course tape available, belly flop into the mud, but I aslo saw him get heckled. That's right. Heckled.
See diagram 1a.
I think the heckle that did it for Mr. Trebon, the one that made him turn his head mid race and attempt to Spit on a fan (you heard it here first)...
"Why don't you just give up like you usually do?"
Come on Tree Farm. You have to know that with Cyclocross there are going to be a few people that are going to be out there shouting obscenities. There are all different styles to the "Heckle" as well, and you, Ryan, are going to have to be ready for all of them.
There has been much talk about Heckling and how to perfect it. The different styles involved. The proper way to Heckle a Hupster. Its all in my detailed manual titled "The Gentleman's Guide to the Heckle."