Video by Brenton and Everett Nate Yockey
Photos by Brenton Salo
Smoothie by COACH
A trip to the desert to get your mind right. Everyone should do this at some point. Team Wooly Mammoth headed to the juniper wilds near Bend, Oregon for a weekend of pedaling. It seems that when the darkest days of the winter are nearly behind us, when we're looking toward longer summer days, we need something that is going to get us over the hump.
But what does that mean really? We all have those j-o-b things to deal with, but somehow we negotiated an early Friday departure. The wives and boyfriends and co workers were ok with it. The blender was packed, the bikes were gently massaged into place and we were out the door.
Arriving to your ride locale in the evening is always a difficult proposition. You've been driving all day (listening to 2 Dope Queens) and talking about riding bikes. You've been drinking pre-made smoothies and snacking on peanut butter covered pretzels, and all you want to do is pedal your bike. But, don't let the fact that the light is quickly waning hold you back from riding your bike. Bring lights! Which is exactly what we did and once they were mounted up and the leg warmers were eschewed (should have worn them) we navigated some back woods trail system that let us coast upon the silty dirt of the gods. The full moon was out and we were officially running from the law across open fields of scrub brush. Sage and juniper filled our noses and coyotes howled with us.
WOOLY MAMMOTH SUMMER NO.2 BLUE SOCK
WOOLY MAMMOTH SUMMER NO.2 WHITE SOCK
We are not professional cyclists. Not one of us thinks we are. Even TV Tony, though he may be the leanest coyote of the bunch (I dare say "pack" because everyone knows that the coyote travels solo) knows what his role will be when he's up against the best racing that Oregon has to offer. But that doesn't mean we don't aspire. That we don't ascribe (is that the right use of the word?) to the code that the pro's follow. Their drinking and eating habits are not lost on us because we are students of this cosmic sport.
Our COACH, Patrick, and we use all Capitol Letters with that one because his University was one of LIFE. Anyway, our COACH instills these lessons in us by repeating them constantly. Consistency is key. So, we offer this recipe as more of a lesson than a hard and fast rule.
WM GREEN SMOOTHIE
Ok, here’s the deal, everyone is juicing… and that’s great, I mean juicing is nice. It’s a healthy pastime, a nice vitamin injection substitute, we’re in the no needles era, right? But get one thing straight, juicing is NOT a meal substitute, and it’s def not a recovery drink. When you finish a tough workout, you don’t crave vitamins, you crave a creamy, fulfilling, substantive, coco-nutty goodness that’s gonna fill you up like a meal. Which is why the smoothie reigns supreme and can never be knocked off it’s whirling, 65hp motor-boat-motoring-throne. Smoothies are the ultimate post-ride, immediate, recovery cocktail that quench your thirst and nourish your body and brain following a hot day of soaking in the UVs and extra-curricularing.
Here’s one of my favorite smoothie recipes:
-1 Banana, maybe 2 if you like em sweet. Frozen if you’re hawt and like to COOL COOL COOL down.
-Lots, and I mean LOTS of WILD organic blueberries. Wild are the only ones that have actual vitamins you need since you’re wild at heart. We’re talking half a bag of frozen- minimum. Go wild if you need to and throw the whole bag in. Can’t hurt, and you won’t turn purple, promise.
- 1 Heaping tablespoon of Coconut oil for the good fats in there and to lube the ol intestinal tract and get it primed for the popcorn that will follow the smoothie down your gullet.
-1 Cup Coconut Milk or thereabouts, you know... just go with what feels good, and pour away.
-1 Tallboy of Coconut Water or in a pinch you can use filtered alkaline water or some juice I guess. Coconuts are amazing, I like to utilize them as much as possible. I don’t recommend coconut bark though, unless you’re in need of some TP.
-1 Small Handful Coconut Flakes, again, we like coconuts around here, and the flakes add a really nice texture.
-1 Handful of Walnuts, (hopefully sprouted, but that’s another thing altogether) point is, you need some fatty nuts. Almonds will work too if walnuts are not your thing. Sprout em though.
-1 Scoop PPP: Your Preferred Protein Powder- I generally prefer something found at WFM and of the Dairy Free, Organic nonGMO variety, but if you do GNC and are partial to the creatinesque varieties we don’t judge. I will say, whatever you do, get a neutral flavor such as vanilla or natural if you can- the chocolates and berry flavors tend to have more sugars and nobody likes chocolate flavor every time. Also, if you’re GNCing, make sure you’re not glowing when you get tested at yer next OBRA masters race.
-2 Heaping Tablespoons of Chia Seeds. It's a super food. You want to be super.
-2 Heaping Tablespoons of Hemp Seeds. Omegas, look em up.
-4-5 Large Leaves Lacinato Kale or any legit green you can tolerate (Chard, Regular-Ass-Kale, Spinach, or whatever else is on hand). I caution against the use of Mustard Greens while making smoothie art. I’ve attempted this and destroyed a good smoothie. Art involves refinement and sometimes destruction, but Mustards are rough.
-4-5 Leaves of Fresh Lemon Mint. This lil addition gives the smoothie a nice freshness and zip. This is the legit, best smoothie trick in the world. Trust me on this, you NEED fresh mint in there.
-A few pinches of Pink Himalayan Salt. Salt is good and you can’t harvest it from your jersey after a ride, so you gotta replenish.
Blend til smooth, then consume immediately and completely. Bare in mind this is a serious helping of smoothie. If you’re a tiny climber this will feed you and your lieutenant. If you’re a big strong classics rider or you were in the saddle all day, you’ll probably be able to take this thing down in one sitting… might be tough though. Bottoms up!