You can't actually get your full on tan if you can't get your bibs up over your knee. What I mean by that is if you're hoping to ride your bike, and get the best tan possible. You should probably be certain that you can ride a bike. (ps, is that a real shirt above? Who would make something such an outrageous claim?) That's just one tip for you.
I'm full of tips. Here's one that my uncle used to tell me.
He used to say "You want a tip, I've got a tip for you. Don't Smoke."
Cracked us little ones up every damn time too. So clever.
I made a commitment to myself not too far back to stop wearing t-shirts so much. How indeed am I to advance the sport of Male Fashion if I do not participate. Therefor, no more t-shirts, or at the very least, less of them. One week is all that I could manage. For I only bought two other shirts and they pretty much look the same.
The other thing that doesn't help the situation is that every time I turn around people are making sick, sick t-shirts. Like who? Well, I've got a few examples for you.
1. Trackosaurus Ride Hills T-shirt.
Black is always good. Joy Division. Also good. Except for that movie that came out a couple years ago, Control. Not so good. I have to think that the life of Ian Curtis just wasn't that pretty. I mean the acting was good and the shot list pretty good too. However, I guess thats what you get out of a director who made music videos for U2. Lucky for us, when I looked him up on IMDB hoping for something else interesting I saw that he's making a new movie that Bono is writing. Whatever.
That kind of went down the negativity road. Shit, I'm starting to sound like A. Myerson. Someone put me out of my misery. The shirt however is dope. I don't even mind saying "dope" its that good.
2. JJ & Jens & Fabian & Stuart. by Gage and Desoto
. Can I just say that I love this shirt too? I love this shirt because every time I wear it someone asks about it and they're always the craziest questions. One time it was... "Is that like, a shirt from a Law Firm?" I said "Yes," because I could actually see this as a Law Firm. And if I could have anyone representing me in the court of Life it would be either Stuart O'Grady, or Jens Voigt. You know that either of those dudes are willing to go the distance. Another time it was..."Oh my god, I can't believe you're wearing a Crate & Barrel T-shirt." And then you've witnessed the power of Helvetica.
I could also go on and on about Gage and Desoto, and I will, but not here. Not now. Soon.
3. MASH Tour of California Shirt.
Go to the site and look at the back. This is what you see when you climb Mt. Palomar on a road bike, and these guys did it on fixies. Craaazy. Garrett sent this over right around the time he was putting together a little piece for the next Embrocation about their experiences. Ok, he sent it later, but I was just trying to shorten the timline. Its a really cool shirt though, and I couldn't get great photos of it because the graphic is on the back. Look through the other stuff while you're there because Garrett is an awesome graphic designer...
4. Chamois Time is Tanning Time.
Oh hello, here's this one again. Try to stay calm as it is an Embrocation original. Well, actually that's not entirely true. Remember when I said that D. Action said embro felt like young girls licking his legs?
Well, that is true and this is creatively what came of that scenario. A little direction and those cats over at JDK
can really crank out the hits... you can't see it here, but once I get some close ups you'll see that there is not only an Embrocation Moka Pot, but the JDK logo buried within the design.
We only got a few of these made so get one before they are gone. You know. Like summer.
God damn it is so hot out.